Ahh, The Indignities of Being Beautiful (a rant against the Brazilian Wax)

This morning on “The View” the ladies were discussing a proposed ban on Brazilian Waxes in New Jersey. For the uninitiated, a Brazilian Wax is a sadistic procedure in which hot wax is smeared on the mons pubis and other delicate areas, then the hair is quickly ripped out by the roots. The New Jersey State Board of Cosmetology is considering a ban after two women were hospitalized for infections, and one woman has filed a lawsuit.

Even if you don’t develop infections, there are uncomfortable consequences from having a smooth, child-like mons. Pubic hair is curly, and tends to curl into the skin, so ingrown hairs are common. Ingrown hairs itch.

A friend of mine swears by it. She says it makes sex better; that you develop more “sensitivities.” In my mind (because I wouldn’t subject myself to such cruelties; I’m just imagining) it compares to the female version of male circumcism. A male friend who has not been “cut” told me once that he had to work on his “staying power” once he became sexually active. He explained that because his member is covered up all the time, when it is unsheathed it is super sensitive, where circumcised men are used to being unsheathed and experiencing everyday touches. He feels fortunate that he was never clipped, and that his sexual experiences are most likely superior to those who have their most sensitive areas exposed all of the time.

With a Brazilian Wax those delicate lady parts that are usually covered in a protective pad of hair are suddenly exposed all of the time, touching panties, jeans, and cool breezes. I would imagine that you walk around for a couple of weeks enjoying those new sensations, because they are new, and then they quickly become the norm.

I will admit to a seasonal trim for the sake of wearing a swimming suit. However, for me, a Brazilian Wax is just too extreme. Some of the women on The View stated that they are good because “guys like them.” Personally, I wouldn’t want to date a man like that. I would find that fellow creepy. I have to take the side of Whoopie Goldberg who said that she waited too long to become a woman (I’m assuming she feels like she has earned her hairs). Guest Host Chris Cuomo said that there’s a market for it, but that he doesn’t care for it because he is the parent of a 9-year-old girl. That says it all for me.