Desiccated Green Beans

A couple of weeks ago I was heading out, and stopped in the vegetable garden to take a peek at what was ripening. The green bean bushes were heavy with tasty beans, so I plucked a handful and stuck them in my jeans pocket, with the intention of including them in that’s night’s dinner salad. I jumped in the car and ran my errand, and at some point I remembered the green beans in my pocket. Pulling them out, I scanned the car for something to put them in, and opening the glove box I spotted a folded yellow cloth.

The cloth was a “Sham Wow” I had put in the glove box with the intention of using it to dry the windows the next time I went to the car wash, but I had forgotten about it. If you don’t know what a “Sham Wow” is, it’s a sort of man-made chamois, with super absorbency qualities. On the commercials, you will see them soaking up entire glasses of spilled water.  I hadn’t yet used my “Sham Wow,” so I thought, well, it’s clean, so just put the green beans in it and remember it when you get out of the car.

Well, I didn’t. Fast forward two weeks later. I’m going in the glove box to retrieve something else, and there’s the yellow folded cloth. When I grab it, something inside crunched. I opened it, and had to stare for a full minute until I realized what was once in there.

The green beans had been mummified. They had been desiccated. They were ancient, 75-year-old green beans left in a blazing desert. The very essence of what they had once been was somehow removed. I have never seen anything so dry in my life.

Well, the “Sham Wow” people have proven themselves to me. Their product works. In fact, it’s in my purse now. If I ever need to dry the very essence out of something, I will be using my handy, bright yellow square of cloth, my “Sham Wow.”